WILL

You can doubt anything but your god given power of will .
It's unquestionable that it exist and that it rightfully belongs to you.
Descartes maybe queer , socially awkward but he understands what's truly his and his only

This thing you call society , protects the weak . 
This thing that protects the weak , hinders the evolution of human -kind
This thing that hinders the evolution of human - kind , happens due to un-needed allocation of mental capacity.
And its an unfair playground for the capable . 
Why do we allocate so much resources(mental , physical , elemental) to protect the weak , aiding of the broken , convenience .
For the one , for the you and for the me . We sacrificed the whole.
And for everything you have you sold your zest.
Nian has got to live beyond this .
my rubbish keyboard made me use some short cuts

Power Of will?

How strong willed am i?

What is Will Power?
How do i tell if he/she has strong will-power or not?

Imagine ..
Suicide , knowing that his/her existence is pointless

Imagine again ,
Live , a life of little use and contribution .

Or .
A motivated individual with a bleak outlook in life.
Or.
A depressed soul with obligations / great prospects in life.


A pessimist braving through JCC

An Optimist braving through JCC.

A Pessimist taking his first steps.

An optimist taking his first steps.


Do you have a stronger will then i do?

Suggest!

Will = Motivation x Mental State( Outlook of life)

Power?

power is the ability to take away something precious from u . Many people would gladly to that to many people. but they wouldn't because knowing society , they might lose something precious to them . freedom , life etc. Someone who doesnt care about such *eg : freedom or life . That kind of people is the true god. because he need not wager , he takes.

Bye bye

She used to whine that i dont blog sad things about her as much as i did about green princess.
i hope shes happy now. Now that she'll only see as a third party.

As strong as i will be , as determined as i will be.
i'm always the joker , the great pretender.

Little will you ever hear again ...
This familiar K.D voice.

Cant believe it's going to end like that. For a reason i'm so unclear of.
I guess it's the summation of it's parts.
All the sense-less quarrels that we had.
but i guess it doesnt really matter now...

I just wish for this horrible feeling to go away.
The persistent urge to call , to swallow my pride once again .
To patch up.

It's fucking senseless , as i know it'll happen again .

There are still so many things that i'm unable to let go. Unable to give up on
I wish for her
 - To be healthy
 - To show her nasty *ex- good friend how capable she is
 - To provide a blessed life.

But whats the point? if i'm unhappy in it . in the first place?

It's fucking senseless , as i know it'll happen again .

A joker's strong. and the joker is who i'll be..
It's time i face the world as NIAN(CAPS) again.

Joker

Oh yes , i'm the great pretender.
Just laughing and gay like a clown.
I seem to be.. what i'm not, you see
I'm wearing my heart like a crown.

Rubbish

Racist?
It is only true when used to describe . Majority against minority .
Something like.
Bullying. Bully does not happen when the small goes against the big . But only when the big goes against the small.

how self-defeating.

Saying that you're being bullied / racist-ed , is indirectly assuming that you're the weaken of the two.
and what pride is there?

Mardy

Very often , we would've loved to get out of the PLAN.(Check prev post)
Leaving behind expectations , Society defined - filial .
And do everything we loved to do.

I don't believe anyone can love to slack, I wouldn't love a peaceful , mundane Sunday afternoon.
However , i would rejoice if that's the only escape i have from the planned plans we have.


*Side track
Of course , many *enlightened* individuals would enjoy such peace . Peace to us is having nothing to-do and relax our mind for a bit . For them , it's another chance to flex their wonderful , honed brains .. relieving and innovating.


If all the slackers/bums/dropouts were given the chance to do what they loved to do. I'm sure they wouldn't be labeled slackers.

So....
What are slackers? People who don't do anything ? or people who do not wish to do things they are EXPECTED to do.

PLAN

How can many of us live with such contention?

Whose world is only as big as the people they know 

( Society? the very immediate society -Our circle of friends)

Who's self-worth is judged , often by their mediocre circle.

Who's esteem is prided by the individual qualities within the circle

Living as if the world is as big as their circle

Where competition , victories , losses , pride , glory happens only within those invisble walls of their immediate society.

And once , having found their self-worth , carry-on to maintaining it .
Then eventually settling down .
Comfortable .

Sucked into "LIFE" . The society's perfect plan for you and me!

Time

Have you ever wondered how time feels like in no-man land?
A place where you've no specific indication of time , and indication meaning specific happenings , interaction , reactions .. (Something like AD .. BC)
A place where time is invalid , no longer being the running element that erodes our immaturity and naive-ness.
Where sediments such as wisdom , knowledge can not be picked up.
Just imagine being oblivious to society . What would we have adapted to?

Motivation!

Depressing , I've plenty of what everyone wants but none of what everyone needs!

I lived a meaningless life , vying only for material-satisfaction .
Now that i've all the i want , whats next?

Believes strongly , that theres two types of motivation in this world .
Motivation before contention ,
Motivation afters.

How hard is it to find motivation afters. and motivation after what? contention? what kind of motivation is that!
I wish i'm the god that i am ,
I hope the accumulation of my life will enable me to understand and eventually find such motivation.
(** Maybe it's hunger, curiosity , zest?) But how broad does *contention cover?* (Materials? , knowledge? )

Politically Correct Gambling

Time is life's wager
Credits are free , Bet we can only .
Make full use & I'll have a rich life

Stop wasting my credits
Find myself a new fuel for motivation

So tell me what's NIAN now?

It's been awhile since i worked hard & Earned something!

271211

What more effective is there then a god who can be manipulated , and what better god then myself?


I am my own god .

I've got to redefine my sense of sin , faith and well-being 


.Nothing should be in my way to create a " Healthy mentality "

NIAN

NIAN is who i want to be

Unlike the person who is writing this , "I"

Nian is like a constant variable , unlike "I" Who is subjected to emotions . Daily trivialities & Uncertainties

Nian is how i ought to be & How i want myself to be

So let my name be NIAN
And to be called upon as NIAN shall serve my reminder to kickass!

261211

I'm my own god.
And i pray everynight to nobody but myself

I pray,
to remind my conscious-self of the things i want

I pray,
the same thing everyday to drill my subconscious mind into behaving

I believe in myself , my faith to my own capabilities
And when i pray to myself, what i believe along with my faith .
I will be blessed by myself .

"A healthy mentality"