I'm thankful for wheels , a tiny bicycle brought me to places . I remember when i first left my house compound as a kid with his bike.
His world grew exponentially. Everything started making sense as his world exploded . He felt free!
As he rode , his immediate society expanded in a myriad of colors.
Whilst he understood that there was never competition as the joys of this solitary pursuits are to be indulged alone and near impossible to empathize.
Life never felt fuller as dreams (then) thou imbecile .. were capable of bringing intense joys.
Knowing then a day was not wasted was a day which he rode.
Tuesday, 22 January 2013
Friday, 18 January 2013
Anyhow bomb .
I see people who slogs hard to embrace material stuffs and i wonder WTF WHY?
but i'll assume materials are like temporary gratification which is a form of justification for them to give their life away,exchanging the Richness of life away.
However they are not to be blamed, cause they've just , like humans, adapted .
but i'll assume materials are like temporary gratification which is a form of justification for them to give their life away,exchanging the Richness of life away.
However they are not to be blamed, cause they've just , like humans, adapted .
In Singapore , unlike everywhere else . It is not as easy to live a life of abundance .
Without having the need to have a shit load of money to fulfill basic needs/ Hygiene factors such as a roof over our head and in exchange for that basic need we gave away the richness our life to be monetary rich.
Without having the need to have a shit load of money to fulfill basic needs/ Hygiene factors such as a roof over our head and in exchange for that basic need we gave away the richness our life to be monetary rich.
If we had a lot less to pay for (Say in the outskirts of japan where one small apartment can cost as little as !)
I'll have a lot more capacity in my mind to share and embrace , to pour my heart and soul into my passions.
Tip the balance of Time , Money and Life.
I'll have a lot more capacity in my mind to share and embrace , to pour my heart and soul into my passions.
Tip the balance of Time , Money and Life.
Singaporeans dont have a choice to allocate their time and money anywhere else .
This is fucking pointless but i'm just lamenting about the current situation.
I can do something which is to migrate but my roots are in too deep.
Small changes such as mentality are to be taken, bigger ones as above should be forgone.
oh well , i wish i had more time to play!
I can do something which is to migrate but my roots are in too deep.
Small changes such as mentality are to be taken, bigger ones as above should be forgone.
oh well , i wish i had more time to play!
Thursday, 3 January 2013
Being Nice
Re-post of an Old Post .
Everyone wants to be nice.
but some of us tries too hard to be nice.
We think, how come some people.
Pulls of being-nice so easily?
Folks nation wide reveres him/her as the almighty nice one. everyone praises him/her for being nice.
but here you are , trying so hard to be nice.
being nice to whom you think are a bunch of ingrates. Taking your nice deeds for granted.
How fucking annoying is that?
Folks nation wide reveres him/her as the almighty nice one. everyone praises him/her for being nice.
but here you are , trying so hard to be nice.
being nice to whom you think are a bunch of ingrates. Taking your nice deeds for granted.
How fucking annoying is that?
Then...
Why are we TRYING to be nice?
Why do we find it hard to turn down requests from our friends?
Requests of NICE* deeds from you.
Do we genuinely want to help or do we help cause we find it hard to turn them down?
In otherwords,
Are you a nice person? Or are you asked to be a nice person?
Why are we TRYING to be nice?
Why do we find it hard to turn down requests from our friends?
Requests of NICE* deeds from you.
Do we genuinely want to help or do we help cause we find it hard to turn them down?
In otherwords,
Are you a nice person? Or are you asked to be a nice person?
(and you find it hard to turn down a chance for you to be who you want/ought to be)
Its annoying how we all preach that , if we're genuinely nice. We do it out of goodwill, we do not expect reciprocation.
And yet we curse and swear at those ingrates.
Why? because . we're nice cause we're asked to be.
And yet we curse and swear at those ingrates.
Why? because . we're nice cause we're asked to be.
Appreciation is vital. To us , is the basic hygiene of being nice.
but being nice, we're doing it for someother's benefits isnt it?
To all of us we tries to be nice, and be nice only when we're asked to be.
Its good that we try.
But dont allow one or two ingrates* to stop you from being nice to others who appreciate.
Because they are deserving.
And why do we TRY-ERs
Its good that we try.
But dont allow one or two ingrates* to stop you from being nice to others who appreciate.
Because they are deserving.
And why do we TRY-ERs
expect so much?
Cause we TRY-ers , blow up every nice thing we do.
We think of it as a self-sacrificing deed, when being nice is to overlook oneself and work for the benefit of others.
Cause we TRY-ers , blow up every nice thing we do.
We think of it as a self-sacrificing deed, when being nice is to overlook oneself and work for the benefit of others.
we fail to be genuinely nice and that is to overlook oneself.
So lets all try to be nice, cause you want to.
So lets all try to be nice, cause you want to.
PLAN FUCKING PLAN!
Repost of an old post in an old blog that i'm too embarrassed to show!
WE NEED A PLAN. I NEED A PLAN.
WE NEED A PLAN. I NEED A PLAN.
WHY?
I will really start living after i have a plan.
At the age of 20. i am ENLIGHTENED ahahahaha. YES
i mean seriously , what have i been doing? and what do i know about my life?
I've been living for 20 years, nono . Infact I've only been following a plan.
A plan that is set out by the very society i live in
I dont even exist at all.
I'm just an Ant in a trail of ants
i dont live
i dont exist
i am insignificant
i am one amongst the sea of many.
To me , to you am i just a relationship. AND that relationship is defined once again by our binding society. our society is my god. i am relative to you that is relative to a relationship defined by a culmulative , central power which is in otherwords the mean of our combined expectation. AKA SOCIETY. FUG MY LIFE.
You see , that is how sad my life was.
people buy sports cars, big houses .. WHY?
Do they actually think they can prove their existence with such *VALUABLE* possessions?
In a bigger picture, They dont.
They still do not exist , they're still one of the many.
It is just that , they've reached a new stage in the plan. The plan that binds everyone from birth.
The plan of our society.
every kid is born. With a plan
Every kid is born ,
to start walking
to start learning
to start schoolings
to start relationships
to start a career
to start a family
to start earning money
to start affording expensive items
and then, we're all well integrated into the plan.
then we start to grow old
we start to age
we start to fail, our memories and our bodies.
and fuck! i ask myself when do i start living?
living , not in the sense where we live our existence.
i wanna live my life, and what the fuck is my life?
I've been well into the plan that i forgot to see anything and everything beyond the binding plan of my life/society.
and then
at the end of the day, we're just part of a cycle.
An invisible plan that binds us all.
A plan where we play little to no-part at all. A plan that we're neither the M or the X or the C we play no part in affecting the Outcome (Y).
Then.. We just vanish
after 3 generations .
WHO IS NG.SHENG.NIAN?
OUR EXISTENCE ARE MEANINGLESS
IF
We're NOT the BEST
Human selection, Humans, reproduce
through the selection of the best
If we're not the best, our off springs will not be the best
And then . why do we exist?
I WANT TO BE THE BEST
I want to be above the plan and to be above the plan i have to have a plan
AND HENCE
I NEED A PLAN.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
i love my crap
oh yea, i really am going to live after poly life.
You'll see.
i need to survive before i can live! YESSA!
___ to be or not!
i ask myself man .
The biggest question of 2013.
To be or not to be? w ___
Apparently the divide is very clear now, its a matter of deciding between rationality and emotions.
I know that in the years two come* , either can change.
Rationality can be argued and emotions can be eroded.
However as of 2013 January ...
It's Nian or K.D
And i'm torn !
I dream and wish about the possibilities , yet i look back with fond-ness at our made believed future!
Good ___ may be , a good person ___ is . But whats good* may not be good for me!
It's almost impossible to weigh the *pros and cons*.
Almost like religion, this issue cannot be argued in a logical sense!
This topic with regards to the emotions present, the emotions present are indescribable by words , it maybe an event like that of watching a sunset of which the emotions present is morphing every time you choose to reflect upon it!
And i'm unable to imagine the complicated emotions i will hold if either decisions are made!
Will i grow numb? or will i like r0(k1n grow to regret every mistake i made?
Will i regret? If i were to reflect upon this incident in the future , as to be or not to be?
It is for me to decide still ..
However let me pen it down , and reflect upon it with vigor and with differing emotions!
I know that , rationally . To-be could possibly be the condemnation of my life!
There are various aspects of my insufficiency that ___ does not fill!
However , at times i'll question . This is my first , should i expect the world from an individual?
Have i not seen enough to cherish whats present? Will i miss and appreciate the present values if they were to disappear? nono , will i appreciate the present values more then the ones i wish for*****
As it is , there may never be any real conclusion drawn as i'll forever be !.
The main issue rationally is that our molds and bonds have already harden and so has our definition of this relationship has been fixed! and therefore any drastic change seems almost impossible!
As much as i try to be rational above , i dare not say that it is void of emotions!
As of today's reflection of this morphing emotion.
I would firmly state that she is a source of unhappiness.
However this could possibly be due to this absolute comfort that i'm in!( No school , no commitments!).
At which there is little opportunity for her to demonstrate her capabilities to meet my much illusive in-sufficiencies!
Many times , i will feel intense frustration/suffocation in our many quarrels ! Of which i see total despair if i were to continue in this relationship!
At the prevailing anger then, it's almost impossible to take a step back!
However as i'm reflecting(now) , i wonder why have i not tried to look at the root cause of such emotions! as i learnt that anger and frustration is almost like a secondary emotion . Which root stems from something a lot less intense and easily overlooked! ....
However i thought that the times at which happier moments are found , ___ can be a source of comfort.
The memories and made believes we cherished are looked upon fondly even as i type words of such despair(at the bond)
How interesting it is to me , to pen down my thoughts one word at a time did i realize that the stand of rationality and emotions are totally opposite! I began with rationality as that of the "not to be" while emotions as the "to be).
As i typed and reasoned with more given time between each thoughts , not to be or to be!?
Shit now i'm back to square one . its all grey ...AGAIN!
EAT SHIT AH!
The biggest question of 2013.
To be or not to be? w ___
Apparently the divide is very clear now, its a matter of deciding between rationality and emotions.
I know that in the years two come* , either can change.
Rationality can be argued and emotions can be eroded.
However as of 2013 January ...
It's Nian or K.D
And i'm torn !
I dream and wish about the possibilities , yet i look back with fond-ness at our made believed future!
Good ___ may be , a good person ___ is . But whats good* may not be good for me!
It's almost impossible to weigh the *pros and cons*.
Almost like religion, this issue cannot be argued in a logical sense!
This topic with regards to the emotions present, the emotions present are indescribable by words , it maybe an event like that of watching a sunset of which the emotions present is morphing every time you choose to reflect upon it!
And i'm unable to imagine the complicated emotions i will hold if either decisions are made!
Will i grow numb? or will i like r0(k1n grow to regret every mistake i made?
Will i regret? If i were to reflect upon this incident in the future , as to be or not to be?
It is for me to decide still ..
However let me pen it down , and reflect upon it with vigor and with differing emotions!
I know that , rationally . To-be could possibly be the condemnation of my life!
There are various aspects of my insufficiency that ___ does not fill!
However , at times i'll question . This is my first , should i expect the world from an individual?
Have i not seen enough to cherish whats present? Will i miss and appreciate the present values if they were to disappear? nono , will i appreciate the present values more then the ones i wish for*****
As it is , there may never be any real conclusion drawn as i'll forever be !.
The main issue rationally is that our molds and bonds have already harden and so has our definition of this relationship has been fixed! and therefore any drastic change seems almost impossible!
As much as i try to be rational above , i dare not say that it is void of emotions!
As of today's reflection of this morphing emotion.
I would firmly state that she is a source of unhappiness.
However this could possibly be due to this absolute comfort that i'm in!( No school , no commitments!).
At which there is little opportunity for her to demonstrate her capabilities to meet my much illusive in-sufficiencies!
Many times , i will feel intense frustration/suffocation in our many quarrels ! Of which i see total despair if i were to continue in this relationship!
At the prevailing anger then, it's almost impossible to take a step back!
However as i'm reflecting(now) , i wonder why have i not tried to look at the root cause of such emotions! as i learnt that anger and frustration is almost like a secondary emotion . Which root stems from something a lot less intense and easily overlooked! ....
However i thought that the times at which happier moments are found , ___ can be a source of comfort.
The memories and made believes we cherished are looked upon fondly even as i type words of such despair(at the bond)
How interesting it is to me , to pen down my thoughts one word at a time did i realize that the stand of rationality and emotions are totally opposite! I began with rationality as that of the "not to be" while emotions as the "to be).
As i typed and reasoned with more given time between each thoughts , not to be or to be!?
Shit now i'm back to square one . its all grey ...AGAIN!
EAT SHIT AH!
Wednesday, 2 January 2013
The Biggest Question of 2013
Is it worth Holding ON? A good thing might not be good for me!
Is it my expectations or hers?
Is it my expectations or hers?
2013 my ass
In this shitty culture , success is wealth or prestige . Hard work is only respectable if hard work is towards wealth or prestige . It maybe the 21st century but our society is still runned by the 1970s.
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